Who Should You Date?

Google about how to find perfect guys and you’ll find numerous articles on who to date and who not. But tragic enough, there would hardly be articles telling you what kind of girls you should date. Therefore, I take it upon myself as my responsibility to enlighten the world about what kind of girls, if they actually existed, would have been perfect for guys. The Perfect Woman. The mystery unknown. The ultimate piece of Godliness. Here they come :

  • Date a girl who’s well-read : Yes, guys, being well-read is important. Being well-read doesn’t mean having read all of Blyton’s books. Not even Bhagat’s. It means having a rich taste of good books. It assures you that the girl has a taste, a preference, that she won’t take shit. And that if she agrees to date you, it means you’re something. How’s that for confidence? This also assures she’d prefer a hi to a hieee every time you meet her.
  • Date a girl who’s funny : Almost eighty percent of the girls, when asked what is that one quality that they want in their dream man, says ‘sense of humor’ or ‘someone who can make me laugh’. While they easily pass on the difficult baton to us, since humor is, by no means, an ordinary talent; they forget to realize that even a man could desire some fun. Now don’t twist your heads, I’m not talking that kind of fun. In this multitude of sentimentality, it’s a rarity to find a ‘sense of humor’ in the fairer sex. However keep your eyes open. Some woman with the fragrance of Nitrous Oxide may pass by. That’s laughing gas, dumbass! ( Pardon my pathetic sense of humor! )
  • Date a girl who’s not so gorgeous : While most of us desire, or even fantasize dating the most gorgeous girl on the planet, let me tell you that almost 99% of them are very fussy. They make your life hell. Trust my experience. A not-so-gorgeous girl is perfect. She’ll listen to you, treat you like a teddy bear rather than a pet dog and you could even make your friends with gorgeous girls jealous by letting them know how teddy-bearish you feel like.
  • Date a girl who has an ambition : Now this may sound preachy but it definitely helps in the long run. The woman must have something other than you to keep herself engaged with. From being a painter to having a desire of writing meaningless, traffic-less blogs – anything flashy enough to keep her occupied, give you some breathing space and keep her happy without extra effort on your part.
  • Date a girl who likes you rather than admires you : Liking doesn’t need a reason. Admiration does. Admiration creates walls, makes you larger than life. Liking breaks walls, makes the liker likable. Admiration is for your qualities, liking is for you. I’m assuming you’re not a total loser. Pardon me if I erred. Did you like this piece of advice? The sharing buttons are right below!
  •  Once, for a few days, date a girl who’s rich and spoilt : This is guy’s side of the story. There’s no such thing as a free lunch for those who haven’t seen this part of the world. Make sure you date atleast one rich girl, with a big car and a Louis Vuitton purse, so that later you could atleast tell your grandson than you were nothing less than Superman when you were young. Tell your little-tittles about how you once dated a hot chick, who had a Bentley and who smoked pot, and dumped her when you got bored of her concern about the greenery in her purse rather than the redness of your cheeks. If you ain’t a celeb right now, follow my advice and you’d get a huge young fan following in your old age!
  • Date a girl who’s not too senti-menti : It’s a heartbreaking statement but yes, a hefty percentage of girls are sentimental cry-babies. If you’re a girl and you get offended by this, you clearly know what I mean. Such girls spend the majority of their time drooling over some random crush of theirs, who might already be committed; getting fascinated by some random celebrity so much that even dreams are haunted by them; getting all emotional about some random crap that some lunatic guy said about their weight or dressing sense and in the worst case, for not being able to share bitchy stories about their acquaintances to their friends. Date a girl who’s opposite to all those, who sheds tears only when she cuts onions and you cook!
  • Date a girl who’s got some talent : Talents are interesting. Encourage her to pursue them. Make sure that she never gives them up because of any reason whatsoever. Appreciate her. It’ll make her happy with herself and in turn, make you happy, because your nights would be awesome. And nothing is greater than happiness. Thank you. Now you can clap.

2 thoughts on “Who Should You Date?

  1. I think this post is mostly good advice, especially about the non senti-menti and good sense of humor part. But I have to say, if any girl finds out you chose her because she is “not-so-gorgeous”…. best to keep that one to yourself.

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